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95 – Ending the Lies


by Jill

Lying to yourself will stall every goal or dream you have, and it must stop now. You aren’t fine. You don’t suck or lost or too old or unskilled. Learn how to identify and combat lies. Face the truth and reach for the right solutions. 

Invent a Story – This is an elaborate lie that involves a story with intrigue. People think the more details they put into a lie. The more people will believe them. So, we tell stories about why we can’t get what we want in elaborate stories with sweeping histories and bleak futures. 

The Blatant Lie – This is a lie that is so clearly a lie without any sense of self-respect. You flat out lie. Did you do the dishes? Yes! That is not true!

The White Lie – This is a tiny lie and perhaps is the most damaging. We say a slight untruth to spare our feelings or make ourselves feel better. You didn’t do your goals today, but it’s fine. You will undoubtedly do it tomorrow. You know you won’t, but this white lie helps you not get upset at yourself and causes no impact on tomorrow. 

The Brash Lie – This preposterous lie is just bizarre and boastful and is meant to cheer you up or make you feel better without good reason. You don’t exercise because you don’t need it! You get plenty of motion in daily efforts! This isn’t true and is just an excuse. 

Lie of Omission – This lie is about omitting information that would prove this to be a lie. For example, tell yourself you need to work the weekend, and your project will be fine. You aren’t exposing yourself because you are constantly behind, and you have too much on your plate. A weekend will not fix your problem. Instead, you need to take your projects and cut out many tasks. 

How to Tell if You Are Lying – Do you shift your seat or have nervous habits while telling yourself these lies? Do you sweat or feel jittery while telling yourself something? Do you feel like you repeat it repeatedly and embellish it as if to convince yourself? Can you look at yourself, find the mirror and see it written all over your face? You are probably lying to yourself, and it must stop!

Why Do We Lie? – We lie to spare our feelings, so we don’t feel bad about our lack of action. We try to get ourselves out of doing something we do not wish to do. We entertain ourselves with a lie, so we don’t have to face facts. 

How Do We Stop Lying? You stop lying by taking steps to prevent and never lie again. The more we do it, the better we get at it, and the more we lie. Once we start taking steps to stop, it will be easier to face the truth, tell it, and hear it. When you catch yourself in a lie, immediately stop, even if you must yell STOP out loud or in your head. Then, catch yourself not lying and facing the truth, and praise your step forward. 


Take the lies you wrote down last week and categorize them. Do you have a type of lie you like to rely on? List a few contrary opinions to this lie and identify why it is untrue. Think about why you told yourself the life. What are a few ways you can counteract the lie with the truth?

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