Most of us have felt the sting of not being liked. Whether it’s a co-worker, a friend, or a stranger online, the realization that someone doesn’t approve of us can be surprisingly painful. In a culture that prizes likeability and universal appeal, it’s easy to fall into the trap of needing everyone’s approval. But is that realistic—or even healthy?
This blog breaks down powerful insights from a heartfelt podcast by Jill from the Northwoods, offering wisdom on how to stop people-pleasing, accept rejection, and begin living more authentically.
Why We Crave Approval
Approval equals safety. That’s the lesson many of us learned growing up. When people like us, we feel secure. It starts in childhood—being praised by parents and teachers—and continues into adulthood, where being accepted often equates to social survival. Jill shares that she thrived on adult approval, often taking on responsibilities far beyond her years because of the validation it brought.
But when our worth is tied to others’ opinions, we become emotionally fragile. One negative comment or disapproving glance can make us question our value. That’s when it becomes a problem—not the fact that someone dislikes us, but that we let it define us.
Not Everyone Will Like You—And That’s Okay
Jill reminds us of a hard truth: even universally admired figures like Mr. Rogers and Jesus were criticized. There’s even a humorous quote she shares: “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there will still be someone who hates peaches.” Not being someone’s “type” isn’t always about you. It could be about their insecurities, preferences, or past experiences.
Trying to be liked by everyone forces us to mold ourselves to meet expectations that might not even be real. Jill urges us to recognize that it’s okay not to vibe with everyone—and that doesn’t mean we’re failing.
How Rejection Helps Us Grow
Rejection stings, but it can also be a gift. Jill beautifully compares rejection to pruning a plant—removing what’s not fruitful so we can grow stronger. Sometimes, people dislike us for good reasons. Maybe we talk too much. Maybe we interrupt. That feedback, painful as it may be, can be processed, reflected on, and used to refine how we show up.
The key is filtering criticism through a lens of truth and grace. Jill shares a story about being told her laugh was “stupid.” She rejected that feedback, but accepted more constructive criticism about dominating conversations. There’s power in learning to sort out what’s useful and discard what’s not.
Setting Boundaries and Letting Go
One of Jill’s strongest points is that it’s not our job to manage other people’s emotional responses. Our job is to live in truth, love, and integrity—not in performance. When we set boundaries and stop people-pleasing, we free ourselves from emotional exhaustion.
We also stop interpreting rejection as failure. Instead, we see it as redirection, as data. Sometimes it reveals areas for personal growth; other times, it simply confirms that someone else isn’t our person—and that’s okay.
Learning to Stand Alone
We can’t build a resilient identity if we depend on everyone liking us. Jill talks about standing on your own, especially when criticism comes. Some days, you’ll feel strong. Other days, not so much—and that’s human.
She emphasizes that you’re not for everyone, and you weren’t meant to be. That realization helps us break free from the inner critic that demands we be universally adored. Instead, we can be grounded in who we truly are—flawed, growing, and worthy.
Key Takeaways for Today’s World
- Rejection isn’t the end—it’s information. Learn from it, don’t crumble because of it.
- Approval-seeking is exhausting. Trade it for authenticity and you’ll feel freer.
- Not everyone will understand you. That’s not your job to fix.
- Reflect, don’t absorb. Process feedback, keep what helps, release what harms.
- Find your people. Surround yourself with those who value the real you.
Conclusion: You’re Not For Everyone—And That’s Freedom
At the end of the day, needing everyone to like us keeps us small. True confidence comes from knowing who we are, being open to growth, and staying grounded when rejection hits. Like Jill says, breathe, pray, and move forward. You’re not called to be liked by everyone—but you are called to be real.
