Home » 131 – Bumpersticker Advice

131 – Bumpersticker Advice

by Jill

I explore the insights gained from bumper stickers. I review popular bumper stickers and determine whether they offer good or bad advice. Some good advice includes not believing everything you think, reading the manual, and coexisting. Some bad advice includes not wearing pants while driving and not using turn signals. I encourage you to look for bumper stickers and find free advice in the world around them.


Look for bumper stickers in the next week and see if you can find some good advice and free advice out there in the world around you. .


[Music] Have you ever wondered if bumper stickers could be the answer to all the things we’re looking for in life.

That’s what we’ll talk about today.

[Music] People offer free advice because they don’t use that advice for themselves anyway.

Amik Kalantri, wealth of words.

Wait, I have a podcast.

I give free advice.

What is he saying here.

Today we’re going to talk about bumper stickers and whether they have insights to life and gaining goals.

And so we’ll review some of the more popular bumper stickers and see if we think it’s good advice.

The first one is don’t believe everything you think.

That’s great advice.

We shouldn’t believe everything we think.

We think we’re terrible.

We think of bad ideas without any sort of backing to it.

And that’s good advice.

If nothing else, read the manual.

How many people here actually read the manual.

It’s funny.

I didn’t start reading the manual until I started podcasting.

I would do these tech clips for the Nozillicast podcast.

And suddenly I had to actually know how software worked instead of just pretty much guessing how software worked.

I started reading the manuals and guess what.

An amazing thing happened.

I started actually learning how to use the software I have and got better at it.

By getting better at it, then it took me less time to use the software and it allowed me to have more time to do other things.

Good advice.

If you love something, set it free.

Unless it’s a tiger.

That also is good advice.

Wag more, bark less.

I like wagging and barking is really annoying and even when people do it while talking, I think that wagging is something we should do more of and and barking is something we should do less of.


Now this one’s an iffy one.

Practically half the cars in the town I live in have this bumper sticker.

But then very often there’s a bumper sticker next to it that says something mean about someone else.

You know what.

I don’t believe them.


Great advice that nobody takes.

Normal is just a dial on the washing machine.


Believe in a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

Okay, that’s pretty interesting.

Hold on, let me overthink this.

That might not be great advice, but boy, a lot of people do it.

I do it too, every time.

And it’s a problem.

So I think it’s being funny, stop overthinking.

Good friends don’t let you do stupid things.

Alone, that sounds like a fun person to hang out with.

I would rather be fishing.

Well, I’d rather be fishing.

Sometimes you got to take those opportunities and go fishing or be in a cabin or do what it is that you find fun.

I pretend to work and they pretend to pay me.

Well that sounds like someone who’s not getting paid what they’re worth in their job and should find a job they love that actually pays them real money.

I bet that if they were engaged in their job and something they love doing, probably even make more money.

I had my patients tested and I tested negative.

Well that’s not the person you want to see on the road is it.

I am not a hot mess.

I’m a spicy disaster.

That person also sounds like a fun person to hang out with, but maybe not to drive with.

Wine is like duct tape.

It fixes everything.

Now, a good glass of wine here and there, and I have friends who try to see if it works out.

I should ask him how it’s going.

Sometimes you’re the windshield and sometimes the bug.

Yeah, sometimes life feels like that.

We’re cruising around, feeling the wind, and sometimes we go splat.

That’s life.

Sometimes I wrestle with my demons and sometimes we just snuggle.

Okay, well that’s that’s interesting advice for sure.

Money talks, but always says goodbye.

That’s probably realistic.

I want to live in a van down by the river.

That’s funny because it’s always a creepy person to live there, but you know what.

I have to agree.

I want to live in the van by the river.

Just a bad day and not a bad life.

See, that’s a good attitude to have.

I like that person.

Please don’t make me adult.

I just can’t.

Well, I understand some days we have to be adults and sometimes we just can’t take it.

Do the best you can.

Don’t follow me.

I’m lost.

Boy, that’s my quote.

I’m lost all the time.

And it doesn’t really matter where it is, whether I’ve been there a hundred times or I’ve never been there before.

If I feel like a direction is the right way to go, I would be more right if I went the other way.

So again, probably not good advice, but probably realistic, at least for me.

I will get over it, but I need to be dramatic first.

Isn’t that everyone.

People love to be dramatic, love to make a big deal about things.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we just got rid of the the drama.

Stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

That’s insightful and useful.

Let’s have dessert.

Words have power.

They sure do.

Good bumper sticker.

I carry no money.

I am married.

That’s pretty funny.

And my friends who are married tell me That’s absolutely true.

Home is where the heart is.

Oh, that’s true too.

I was an honor student.

I don’t know what happened.

I know a few of those too.

I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas.

That’s fun.

And you know what.

Sometimes that’s true.

Sometimes people who are very opinionated, maybe in other words, bossy, have great ideas.

Don’t worry what people think.

They don’t do it very often.

That one’s pretty funny, but people think, I know they do.

No baby on board, so please feel free to run into me.

That whole baby on board thing was funny.

I always thought too, does that mean because I don’t have a baby on board, I’m not valuable.

But babies are valuable.

Run your car, not your mouth.

Good advice.

The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.

That also good advice.

I hope your insurance is as good as my brakes.

Yeah, let’s hope that’s true.

Oftentimes it’s not very true.

It was me.

I let the dogs out.

And if you don’t know that bumper sticker, you should look up the Baja men and their famous song.

The closer you get, the slower I go.

See, that’ll teach ’em.

Probably not a good idea to get people aggravated on the road, but I feel ya.

If you can read this, I’m not impressed.

Most people can read.

That’s very insightful.

I’m retired.

I was tired yesterday, and I’m tired again today.

That’s true.

A lot of people are re-tired.

If you honk at me, I will dwell on it for the next six to eight weeks.

Oh no, I hope that person really is not sincere.

Anyone honks at you, please don’t dwell about it.

Just figure out what you did and then stop doing it.

So now let’s take a look at some bad advice.

I’m not wearing pants.

You see, that’s bad advice.

You’re out on the road.

Always wear pants.


Bad advice ahead.

See, he’s already saying it.

Bad advice.

Too loud.

Too bad.

You see, you should be considerate of your neighbors.

My driving scares me too.

You shouldn’t be driving if your driving scares you.

Time to improve the driving.

I know, he’s just kidding.

Nobody cares about your stick figure family.

No, it’s not true.

I care.


I’m giving free bad advice today.

Ask me anything.

See, never ask advice from someone saying that right off the bat.

I’m very good at being a bad example.

See, you don’t need any of that either.

Just stick to the good examples.

Please let me merge before I start crying.

Now this is an interesting one.

I have been driving all over the United States and you know what’s interesting.

There are places where if you put your blinker on and you try to get in the next lane, people will speed up to close you off.

Why is that.

I don’t get it.

So the bad advice is one, don’t cry about driving.

Just get off and get back on the highway.

But two, let people in the lane.

Driving is not one of my talents.

I suppose it was kind enough that the person let you know this ahead of time, but you could take lessons.

They could get better.

My driving scares me too.

Okay, same thing as the other person.

Take lessons.

I hate bumper stickers.

See, why would you spend all that time just to I hate bumper stickers when you could just not have a bumper sticker.

Then comes the next category of bad bumper stickers.

First of all, there’s a lot of bad words in bumper stickers.

You know, there’s kids out there looking at your bumper stickers, learning to read.

So, hmm.

But then comes some mean bumper stickers.

And the funny thing about it is whether it’s left or right, this or that, For every one bumper sticker on one side, there’s another bumper sticker on the other side.

That’s almost exactly the same and is mean to the other people as the one bumper sticker.

So this is interesting to me.

So I started digging around and found out that a lot of these companies that print bumper stickers will print both sides of the bumper stickers.

They don’t care.

They’re making money on people’s vitriol regardless of where you stand.

So really what you’re doing is you’re giving money to an opportunist and being offensive to everyone.

This car brakes for snails.

I don’t recommend that at all.

I park like an idiot.

Okay, again, thanks for warning us.

Driving skills loading.

And then it has one of those bars and it’s only like 60%.

Maybe it should load a little bit longer.

Huge financial burden on board.

See, that’s not a nice thing to call your baby at all.

Don’t hit me.

I don’t know how insurance works.

Ooh, time to learn how insurance works.

Bump me.

I think car accidents are funny.

Hmm, that’s also not great advice.

Yes, this is my truck.

No, I won’t help you move.

you move.

I get it.

Nobody likes helping anyone move.

I’m like 25% funny and 85% bad at math.

Well, thanks for the warning.

But funny’s good too.

My girlfriend’s husband fights for your freedom.

That’s not good at all.

Terrible driver, but cute.

Oh, okay, at least you’re cute.

My mind was changed by a bumper sticker.

Said no one ever.

Yeah, that’s that’s good advice.

That’s probably true.

Using my turn signal is giving information to the enemy.

See, not only is that probably the wrong thing to do, could cause accidents, there’s no enemy out there.

I’m sure of it.

Please be patient.

I’m a nine-year-old driver.

See, now that is bad advice.

We should not be letting our nine-year-olds drive cars at all.

If you can read this, I’m about to hit my brakes.

This action is not advised at all.

Do you know where we’re going.

See, this person is clearly lost.

How is the person behind them going to know.

Let’s all go to Buffalo.

See, if you don’t know anything about Buffalo, I got a lot of snow.

I think you have to be very prepared if you’re going to go to Buffalo.

No, I will not toast your bread.

That’s for a Honda Element, and everybody calls them toasters.

And that’s not funny.

I have a Honda Element.

We’re not gonna toast anybody’s bread.

I Don’t need Google my wife knows everything see what a good way Ask me about my lobotomy.

Mm-hmm Pardon my weird driving think about the centipedes Okay, don’t avoid the centipedes while you’re driving.

You know, it may be tempting I’m one bad relationship from having 30 cats See now that’s a bumper sticker I can identify with I like where this person’s going I’m texting right now.

No, don’t text right now drive Well, there we have it.

Most of the other bumper stickers I couldn’t read on a podcast that was declared to be clean.

So we’ll have to stop there Well, there you have it some very good free advice some of it good some of it not so good But I thought that I would give you some of my favorite ones that I’ve seen while driving You know, I’m one of those people that just kind of looks for insight everywhere.

I go billboards bumper stickers scrawlings on the wall insight everywhere So my challenge to you is look out for bumper stickers in the next week and see if you can find some good advice free advice out there in the world around you I I already want, I hope this was fun.

I’ve had some long podcasts and some big series lately, and so I wanted to do something a little bit lighter.

And if you like this, the next episode of Small Steps with God will be religious bumper stickers, and so maybe you’ll enjoy those too.

Please remember that you can listen to my other podcast or this podcast on almost any service, and you can find out what those services are by going to smallstepspod.

com or smallstepswithgod.


Both sites will give you all the places that you can listen to this podcast and that podcast.

I hope you tell a friend or leave a review or Send me your favorite bumper stickers that you found while noticing all the free advice out there Are you one.

Thanks so much.

Have a great week and Keep driving and no honking.

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